Hail's Humor

Hail (pointing out a college-aged girl jogging): See, Momma! See!!! Mommies CAN do exercise too! Dat Momma is doing her exercisin', so now you know you can do yours!

Me: Ummm, are you trying to tell me I NEED to exercise??

Hail: Yeah, actuawawee you do.

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Me (fussing at Hail for still talking after being put to bed): Quit talking and go to sleep!

Hail: Momma, why you always bossin' everybody around all da times??

Me: 'Cause I AM THE BOSS!

Hail: Well, yous not da boss of God! God is da boss of everfang. And He not say I haff to go to sweep!

Me: You're going to meet God, face to face, if you don't hush!

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Hail (interrupting a book I was reading to him about farmers): When I grow up, I'm gonna be a farma!.. and a firemans... and a basebaw coach... and a fixer mans... and a PIRATE and a...."

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And speaking of farmers.... One from Her Highness...

Her Highness: Madison's Dad is a cow-poker.

Me: Huh?? A cow-poker?? What exactly is a cow-poker??

Her Highness: I'm not really sure. I guess some type of farmer.

(After talking with Madison's Mom, I learned her Dad was a chiropractor.)