Sunday, May 15, 2011

Two whole weeks?

It's been almost two weeks since my last post. (I know all seven of you have missed me.) In the past two weeks, I've been too busy to post because we won the lottery. It was the first time in my life to play, and we hit the jack pot! $84 MILLION!

That's a lie.

Actually, we have been traveling the world. We pulled Her Highness and Thunder out of school and decided to home school as we travel with all five kids and visit all seven continents over the next two years.

That's an even bigger lie.

Truth is, my reasons for not blogging are extremely unexciting, and some of the details are rather gross. And since I only like to gross out and whine to my own family... Oh, who am I kidding. I'm just in a lying mood today apparently.

I've been siiiiiicccckkkk. (Read that in a super whiny tone. Kinda like the one Calliou would use to tell Grandma why he can't clean his room.) It all started two weeks ago when I came down with strep throat for the FOURTH TIME this year. And this time I was lucky enough to experience uvulitis on top of the strep. Never heard of uvulitis?? Well, imagine your uvula (that dangly ball thingy that hangs at the back of your throat) swelling up to the size of a light bulb, and TOUCHING both of your tonsils while LAYING ON YOUR TONGUE. I gagged on it 84,000 times. And I'm gagging now just thinking about it. I couldn't eat anything solid. At all. It was the nastiest feeling I've ever felt.

I nearly volunteered my throat to be scraped for germs, to pass along to terrorists. Trust me, they would tell all they knew if you were holding a dose of antibiotics over their heads. It was miserable.

Soon after that cleared up, Thunder started with a 3 day stomach virus.

In between those two illnesses, when I wasn't busy texting pictures of my over-sized infected uvula to my immediate family, and whining to my husband/kids/friends/dogs/anyone who dared to ask "How are you." I was chasing this monkey...

...who, in the time it took me to type those paragraphs above, climbed onto the kitchen table, unpacked several bags of clothes to be donated to the tornado victims, and also got into a few bags of groceries. That was a total of like 34 seconds. (What? I type really fast.)

Flash Flood is into EVERYTHING. All. Day. Long. He's a nut. He's learning how to talk and stringing real sentences together. He also speaks in third person. If any of the bigger kids are playing with something he wants, he'll start by saying, "Pwease. Pwease! PWAY!! PWAY WIF DAT! PWWWEEEAAASSSSEEE!!" We're working on manners. But Flash Flood thinks saying please means we HAVE to give it to him, right then. If screaming please doesn't work, he will scream over and over, "DAT'S FLASH FLOODS! DAT'S FLASH FLOODS!!" Which is really funny because usually it's not even an item that belongs to him.

Her Highness and Thunder are wrapping up the school year. We've only got seven days of school left, and I couldn't be more excited. I love lazy summer days, hanging by the pool and scheduling playdates with friends with only 20 minutes notice.

We're so burnt out on school. Recently, I scheduled a skip day for my kids, and checked them out at lunch. Then, I was a bad influence and talked a few other friends into doing the same. We ditched school and had a picnic by the pool, followed by swimming until everybody was exhausted. I was indeed punished for scheduling a truancy party... I meticulously slathered sunscreen on all five children, then got too busy passing out lunches and chasing Flash Flood, so I forgot to sunscreen myself. Now I'm itching like crazy and peeling like a snake, but it was worth it.

We've also been busy with softball, t-ball, dance, and end of the year school programs. I hope to post pictures soon, with more fun stories of all the things our Storm has gotten into lately.

Until then, I'm off to peel some more skin from my shoulders (I can't help myself.) and to get Flash Flood out of the trash can for the 12th time today. Sigh. Good times. Good times.


Lindy said...

I've been missing your post! Even though I talk to you 84 times a week, I don't actually get to see pictures of the things that you tell me about unless you blog. Well, I won't keep you because I know FF is in to something! ha! Love always!

mallory said...

glad to know you are better...have missed laughing at your family's extent instead of mine...I cannot help but laugh anytime someone else's kids do the things that make me want to scream and quit my job! It is always so much more fun to laugh when it is someone else...
On another note...glad you are better and there is NOTHING better than a skip day....we all need a break every now and then! :)

Whitney said...

I too have been missing your posts! I figured y'all were just busy with it being the end of the school year.
I was having the same problem last year. I had strep throat two weeks before J came home, 2 weeks after and then 2 weeks after that. It was miserable. So I had my tonsils taken out in Nov. I totally recommend it. I haven't been sick since! And sure, it's painful and you can't really talk for a week or so, but in the end, it's worth it!
I hope you get to feeling 100% ASAP! And I know it's probably gross, but slather your peeling skin in lotion and it will help keep you from peeling as much. I hate getting sunburned!

Glad you're back!

The Hills said...

So glad you are feeling better...that sounds horrific! And, I am with you...Tristan is into EVERYTHING...his favorite items being my hair straigtener...which is now his, and my chopper thingy that cuts up mainly just onions because that's all I really use it for! TJ skipped school Friday too...I still feel like such a rebel ;)

tarheelmom said...

i was wondering where you were! We just went through a 12 hour stomach bug. Unfortunately, with 5 people (the baby didn't get it) that's 5 x 12 hours! Fun! I have 42 piles of vomit laundry to do. Love Mondays! Can't wait for some funny posts! Laughter is the best medicine and I could use a good dose!
Glad you are better. Uvulitis...sounds fun! I hope you post that picture!

Trace Car Driver said...

you know, i really hate you were sick. but is it really wierd if i say i would have loved to see a pic of your oversized hangy down thingy. whatever it is you called it :) i had strep 3 times in 3 months recently as well too. ugh. it's the worst. and i find it really funny that i always take a pic of my throat when i have strep. wish i could just text it to the dr and get some meds called in. ha. ok. i've rambled on long enough.. just making up for lost time on missing blog posts lately ;o) hope to see more posts soon!