I never realized just how country Bert and I were until our children learned how to speak. Each time one of our babies have ventured past "dadadada" and "mamama" we've gotten to hear just how thick our southern drawls must be. All one syllable words come out at least two, sometimes even three. Example, Hail will spot a dog through the window, "I see-a daw-gg! De-er dat daw-gg is Mow-mma!" We're so proud. As I said, all of our sweet southern babies have done it. And they seem to ease up on it some by the time they become fluent in English. I'm sure it's due impart to listening to the yanks on shows like "Max & Ruby" as whiny Ruby scolds her brother constantly. Whatever. My point is, it quit sounding quite so thick for a while, at least with Her Highness and Thunder.... Until Thunder started writing and Her Highness learned how to read.
They are constantly cracking us up with the way they think things should be spelled.
Her Highness wrote a report for school about fire safety. One of the sentences read, "In case of a fire CAW 911." She was reading a menu yesterday and got stuck in the beverage section on the word "tea." "What is that word?" We (Ma & Pa Kettle) encouraged her to sound it out. "Te-A? I've never heard of TEE-AAA, Momma! So what is it? Daddy, what does that spell??" We finally gave in and told her it was tea. "Well, why would it be spelled like that?!" After pondering over her own question for a moment she quizzed us again, "Shouldn't it be spelled T-E-Y?" Ma Kettle joined in, "Well, why Honey?" To which she replied, "Because, it's te-ya! T-E-Y. TE-YA." Pa Kettle then had to explain that tea has only one syllable, not two.
Gotta love the South! Don't get me wrong, I love living here. And I love all of our traditions. I just had no idea when Bert and I opened our mouths, a mix of Johnny Cash & Paula Deen was coming out.
And speaking of the South... could someone please fax over the memo letting much of the Southeast know that it's time for Fall weather? I'm so over this humidity. And it's time for a nice hard freeze so the "bu-ugs" and "skee-tars" (as the Hudson House refers to them) will all die. I've been furious with PETA all summer after learning our city would not be sending their huge trucks that spray all the local areas for mosquitoes, all because in the past, a few random birds died. And apparently the birds we saved this year didn't populate enough to consume the extra "skee-tars, " cause we've gotten "eat up" every time we walked outside. Die you little bugs, die. Eat it, PETA.
My final complaint is against the entire nation, not just the south, and is totally random. It's not intended to offend, but maybe it should.... Who made skinny leg jeans a new fad? And, before you go to buy a pair, please look HARD in the mirror. Skinny leg jeans only look good on 11 year olds and women who weigh less than 100 pounds. Period. Boys look super sassy in them, if you get my drift. Maybe that's what the Jonas Brothers are going for. Either way, it's just plain wrong. Don't do it. Hello, GAP is reselling all the tapered jeans that went out of style in the 80's, and just renamed them "skinny-leg." Seriously, truth hurts, but it could save you from total embarrassment. Don't do it. Granted, I'm no fashionista, but I do have 20/20 vision.
Step away from the skinny-leg pants.