Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Pop Quiz-- Hudson Style

I. Multiple Choice--

1. Which of the following did NOT happen less than 18 hours before Holly hosted a surprise double baby shower for two of her besties:

a.) Lightning broke the faucet completely off the kitchen sink, creating a monsoon. Instead of screaming for help, while it was running full blast, Lightning stood there in awe until Holly came to see what was the noise that sounded like a fire hydrant blasting the ceiling.

b.) Holly mopped up two inches of water off the kitchen floor, after said monsoon occurred, and removed canned goods from the pantry and dried them off, because the water burst was so powerful, even the insides of the cabinets were soaking wet, along with the ceiling and all counter tops.

c.) The coffee pot DIED, so Holly had to make a trip to Walmart at 9pm to purchase a new one.

d.) Ashton Kutcher showed up and explained Holly was being filmed for an episode of Punk'd.

2. Upon noticing a bedroom window had been broken, The Storm was brought in separately for questioning. Who blamed whom?

a.) Lightning blamed Thunder, stating, "He did dat when he hit a homerun pwaying baseball."

b.) Thunder blamed Hail and his mad slingshot skills.

c.) Hail explained, "It musta been a robber. And a bad guy. And dey was tryin' to get in our house and steal all our fangs! All of it! Dey wanted to steal our stuffs wike our tv and our toys and our books and our wii and our clothes and dey was just gonna steal EVERY FANG! So, dat robber and dat bad guy breaked da window wif a rock to sneak in while every one was sleepin'! Momma, I'm serious." shaking his head in shock, and raising his eyebrows up as if he witnessed the burglary attempt himself.

d.) ALL of the above.

3. To figure out who was telling the truth, what did Bert do to the suspects for the crime mentioned above?

a.) Threatened to spank them ALL since no one would confess.

b.) Tested Hail's slingshot skills by having him shoot at various targets around the backyard, to see if it were even possible for Hail to break a window.

c.) Offered reward money.

d.) Threatened to force all three to take ballet lessons until the guilty party confessed.

4. Thunder came home from school wearing a t-shirt Holly had never laid eyes on. What was his reason for wearing the new shirt home?

a.) He traded with a buddy.

b.) He spilt juice on his shirt during lunch, and just happened to find another one in his cubby, and even though he knew it wasn't his, he changed into it anyway.

c.) He didn't even notice he was wearing a different shirt.

d.) He bullied a kid for it since it was a Star Wars t-shirt and those are his favorite.

II. True or False--

1.) While attending Granny Scott's funeral viewing, The Hudson Storm put on a shadow-puppet show by placing their fingers in front of the projector that was displaying a slide show honoring Granny Scott on a giant wall.

2.) All of the Hudson Family's laundry is folded and put away.

3.) Holly did NOT tear up when Flash Flood got his first hair cut.

4.) The Hudson's recently adopted a chocolate lab and nick-named her Pork, because they thought she'd go perfectly with their miniature dachshund named Beans.

III. Fill in the Blank--

1.) The Storm member guilty of breaking the window is __________.

2.) According to Holly, Tax Season can go to ____ in a __________ basket.

3.) Her Highness asked if Bert and Holly would please quit having _________ so the family could finally take a vacation to Disney ________.

IV. Math Essay--

If Bert leaves point A at 1pm driving 65 mph in a hoopty suburban, which has so low gas the warning light is on, and Holly leaves point B, driving 75 mph in a filthy mini-van with only a quarter of a tank of gas at 1:15 pm, at which point will Holly pass Bert on the side of the road and refuse to stop and pick him up since she thinks he deserves it for never filling up the tanks on either car while he's by himself?

V. Bonus-- What time will you be over tomorrow to help Holly get caught up on laundry??


Sara Elizabeth said...

HAHAHAHA! I love your posts! All I can say is 1. I can relate 2. Just breath in and out and remember your last post.

The Hills said...

At least you're never bored...right?! LOVE this post, hilarious!

Jimmy said...

HAHAHAHAHA!!!! Did they REALLY do the shadow puppet thing??? That's AWESOME! &=D

Mandy said...

LOL I love it! Never a dull moment. :)

Cindy said...

So dang funny! Love it!

Runnin' Mommy said...

Hilarious! Never a dull moment in the Storm!

Brittny said...

Oh. My. Word. I can't wait to meet you!!!!

Anonymous said...

That was, as usual, hysterical! Girl, I could totally help you with laundry you just let me know when. We are stuck in the house since AK decided to have a fever and no other symptoms...what is that :) If you need help please let me know!!

L Rukes said...

My vote is for Hail. That robber story is a little too fishy. You need to post a pic of pork-n-beans!! HAAAA love it!

McKinney Madness said...

ONLY YOU!!! hah ahaaaa! What can you do but laugh about it, huh? I'm serious- you should be a stand-up comedian. You crack me up!

Kiera said...

Totally laughing!!! Awesome post! :) I love you girl!

The Incredible Shrinking Woman said...

Holly, this post SLAYED ME!!!! One day, we have got to meet. I have a feeling our time together could be written off as a therapy expense- for BOTH OF US!!!! Dang, this still has me laughing!!!