Monday, February 15, 2010

Ramblings of a Mommy-Drama Queen

My eyes are beginning to cross a little. Seriously. I have a lazy eye when I get tired. Like, really tired. And it shows up in pictures that are taken when I'm past the point of no return and desperately need a good night's sleep. No, I'm serious, it runs in our family. Sometimes I look drunk. I may or may not have just turned up a bottle of wine. Just know, that sometimes I look inebriated, and I'm totally sober. And at times, I look totally sober and well....

Thunder woke up Friday night around 10:30, sat straight up in his bed (top bunk) and puked. A ton. Oh, and he leaned over the side before he did. Vomit was dripping down the side of the bed and onto Lightning's, who fortunately had just woken up from a bad dream and moved to the couch. Since then, I keep hoping that I'm having a bad dream, and will wake any moment to find that Her Highness is late for school (again). Unfortunately, I'm having no such luck at the waking up part, since one has to go to sleep in order to wake up. Thunder continued vomiting every 30 minutes for the next 14 hours. FOURTEEN HOURS STRAIGHT. He has vomited several more times since, but nothing like those first FOURTEEN HOURS (every 30 minutes). Today is Monday, right? Okay, thought so. And yes, he's still sick. Poor baby.

I keep waiting to see which victim this horrible virus will claim next. Every time any of the other children even cough, I run towards them with a plastic bowl, hoping to catch it before it gracefully adorns our beige carpet. They all look at me like I've lost my mind, which I totally have, and say, "Back off! I was just clearing my throat!" I'm holding on tightly to the hope that Thunder ate some rancid snow during our "blizzard" on Friday morning. Sure. Even though there are a TON of stomach viruses going around right now and several of my friends have called and said that lil' Johnny was up all night puking too.... No, no, Thunder ate snow that was located too close to old dog poop and now has e-coli poisoning.... and anyone who comes near me with a different answer will get kicked in the nuts! Cause according to Her Highness, both boys and girls are capable of being kicked there.

I'm a horrible nurse too. Day one: I'm all, "Oh, sweetie! Come to my bosom!" Day two: As I scrub every square inch of space the sick person has inhibited for the last 48 hours I scream at the others who are still well, "Go back outside and stay out until I have sprayed Lysol in that room! Wait, drink some of this Lysol just in case... well, I know it says not to, and I know that it's a long shot, but just in case, let's try to drink it and maybe it will kill the germs in your stomach! Please, I'm desperate!" Day three: "Nooooo! Please don't puke any more in MY bed! Please, PUH-LEASE run to the potty! I'll give you a dollar every time you make it to the bathroom and don't puke on the rug or bed! Come on, honey! I know you can't help it. I'm sorry. But PUH-LEASE try!"

Flash Flood was up most of the night last night screaming. I believe he now has another ear infection. Which means more antibiotics to give. I can hardly remember to give Hail his everyday. He's now on round two, for an ear infection that never cleared after RSV.

I admit it. My patience runs thin when there are sick children around. I do realize in the grand scheme of things this is NOTHING compared to what others go through. I know there are some parents out there who would give anything for their children to be as healthy as mine. And I do take their health for granted. I'm just throwing a hissy fit cause I'm tired and my eye is doing the lazy thing, and I already ate the three boxes (yes, I said THREE) of Thin Mints that my sweet little neighborhood girl scout delivered on Friday. As in, three days ago. It's all that's gotten me through, people, don't judge!

I tried to hide those Thin Mints from myself. Okay, so I should have told Bert to hide them, but it wouldn't have mattered. I can sniff Thin Mints out like a Blood Hound on a coon hunt. But yet, I never hide my keys on purpose, and somehow I manage to lose them every day.

Dang it, you stupid groundhog. Where is Spring when I need it most??


Trace Car Driver said...

i HATE to hear the kids are sick and pukey. but i want to THANK YOU for the laughs holly :) i am the same way, i can hardly handle a fever, and then i feel so bad for complaining when i know others are going through much worse! will say a prayer for your lil guys (and girl!) that no one else gets sick. i'd hate for them to keep drinking lysol! :) and btw, i think those cookies are fat free. at least that's what i wrote on my box. haha

McKinney Madness said...

You poor girl!! I would be beyond tired if I were you, so don't feel bad about the Thin Mints. My guilty pleasure are the Samoas... to die for! I'll keep my fingers crossed that your other little ones don't get the "e-coli poisoning." Keep us updated!!

Dixie said...

Bless your heart, Thunder's heart, the rest of the groups' hearts! Darlin', you eat as many THIN mints as you want, whatever keeps you sane!!!! Btw, you won't catch any slack from me, maybe Thunder, if you need to call the virus, and "Punxsutawney", the groundhog, a "bad word" (dumby,stupid, crappy, etc.)! ha! JK!

Praying Thunder is the only victim!
Love, L

brooke said...

maybe he got into some cookie dough. i hear that can make you a little sick. :) seriously, hope everyone gets to feeling better SOON!! and if it makes you feel better, i polished off an entire box of tagalongs by myself within 14 minutes of purchasing them outside of the neighborhood drugstore.

tarheelmom said...

Yuck! Hope you can hang in there. Laughing with you (not at you)...I am the worst nurse by day 3. I usually sound something like, "Well, if you're just gonna be sick then go to your room and don't come out 'til you're better". And I'm with you on the blessed coming of spring...bring on the warm weather!

The Hills said...

I wondered where you guys were on I'm glad you didn't show up!!! However, everyone at the office has "e-coli" too...hoping it will stay away from my clan! Let me know if I can bring you anything...I'll gladly drop it off on the doorstep and you can come out AFTER I'm gone! Yea, nice friend, I know ;) Praying no one else ate the dog poop snow!