Wednesday, March 24, 2010

An Awkward Walk Down Memory Lane

I found some old pictures. I love old pictures. I love looking back and reminiscing, then laughing until I cry as I try and explain the story behind the picture to my own children. After flipping through some of these, I realized just how much my Mother loved me. And not just for my looks, but also my wonderful personality....

Age 10: Officially the beginning of the Awkward Stage for all children.
My teeth, ears and limbs all grew drastically over night, while the rest of me stayed exactly the same size.... Cute.

Age 11: Officially the start of phase "My Mom is a dork and knows NOTHING, especially when it comes to fashion" (Unless you are Her Highness, who began this phase at age 6.)
Aside from the totally awesome mega curl bangs and spiral permed hair, the rocking outfit above was only completed with a mock turtle neck and the best part of all, a scrunchie to hold my shirt in a knot to the side. Yeeesss! I was C to the O to the O to the L!

This gorgeous pose was taken at my 6th grade graduation. I grew up in a tiny town, and I'm thankful my parents didn't move away, especially while I was in this phase....

I seriously remember buying this dress and thinking, "I'm going to ROCK that stage at 6th grade graduation! High school, here I come!"

To obtain this look, follow these steps closely:
1. Set curling iron to hottest setting.
2. Roll bangs in curling iron TIGHT.
3. Hold bangs in curling iron until singeing occurs.
4. Once smoke begins to rise from roots, release clamp on curling iron.
5. Do NOT brush or tease or fluff bangs whatsoever. Spritz with White Rain hairspray.
6. Splash on Malibu Musk body spray.
7. Slip on color coordinated Sam & Libby's and you're ready!

Age 12: Phase-- "Mom, please stop talking to me in public... and at home too. Dang! My locker mirror broke again when I was slamming it shut! Now I can't look at myself in between classes! Who wouldn't want to look at this???".......
Obtaining this look is a little harder than the one above. To be this cool, follow these steps even closer:
1. Wash hair with Outrageous shampoo and conditioner, or Paul Mitchell, which ever smells stronger.
2. Heat stick curlers and roll entire head. Leave in for approximately 2 hours. Do real important things during those two hours like roll your eyes at your mom, and anyone else who dares talk to you during your beautification process.
3. Use same curling technique for your bangs as mentioned above, but this time do feather them out slightly with a pick.
4. Spray Aqua Net over entire head for at least 45 seconds.
5. Put on a tiny bit of blush and lip gloss, but sneak all the covergirl makeup you plan to really wear into your backpack. Re-apply once you get to school.
6. Go to knock-off Glamour Shots studio and have the precious moment frozen in time. It's a keepsake even your husband will adore someday!
--And quit fussing every time your parents mention braces... you obviously need them!

Age 13: Phase-- "Okay, Mom. You can talk to me again at HOME. But please refrain from doing so in public. I'm a grown-up after all. I do have braces and I'm finally growing out those ridiculous bangs, so give me a little credit! And Mom, why are you dressed like a bag lady?? I changed my mind. No talking to me period."
This was the day I got my braces put on. I acted like I hated them, but really I thought it just made me look older. And if you didn't know, older meant COOLER.... 'cause that's what makes you cool. Instead of being 13, I now could possibly pass as 14. Maybe even 15 if my Mom would quit waving at me like that!
And high five to my little sister, Kelly, for rocking the "Moon Dreamer" hairdo as we called it, scrunchie and all. You go, Kelly!

Yes, we named all of our hairdos so that when my Mom was fixin' (it's how you say it in the South) our hair in the mornings, she would know exactly what we were talking about. She had three daughters to deal with, so you can imagine naming our hairdos made all our lives easier. You can see the Moon Dreamer pictured above. We also had the "Barbie" which is the do I'm sporting above, and then of course the High, Low or Side Ponytail. Not to mention the topsy tail or your assortment of french braids, but you had to actually place an order for any of those hairdos since it took more time to complete. I'm not ashamed to admit, my Mom fixed my hair until 7th grade. When I insisted on the hideous mega curl bang, she turned the curling iron and rollers over to me.

Those names have now been passed to the second generation. On school mornings, Her Highness will bring me the brush and a bow and say, "Here, Momma. I want a Moon Dreamer."

Not sure why all of these didn't get passed out. Let me know if you didn't get yours. I'll be happy to write on the back:

Dear BFFE, you are the best. Never change! Class of '98 rules!
LYLAS, Holly


tarheelmom said...

Hilarious...just hilarious. I'm laughing with you, not at you...I swear I have those exact pictures locked in a box in my closet!
We called the mega bangs..."the bird's nest". Roll one part down, two parts up and back, DO NOT fluff, spray until stiff as a brick! Some girls were so good you could've hosted a whole family of Canadian geese in there!

Kiera said...

Okay I'm seriously crying I'm laughing so hard and trying not to be loud so my boss doesn't walk into my office. This stinkin cracked me up!!! I loved all the interpretations. Especially the locker mirror and the pictures that didn't get passed out. You're so funny!! Love ya!

The Hills said...

Love, love, love it! This has to be the greatest post! You are definitley braver than I akward pictures have somehow managed to disappear over the years! I had braces, glasses, and my GREAT-grandmother gave me a perm...ALL at the same time!!! If only I could find that picture...

Shekinah Glory said...

But we all know that the side ponytail was the best. And only one curl-bang, if one could accomplish it...

McKinney Madness said...

If it makes you feel any better, I was a dork right along with you... only I was a FAT dork!! I love the names for the hair-do's. I think mine were just named "ugly" and "uglier!"

Whitney Oaks said...

Because I too grew up in that same small town, I can relate to the fixin' of the was my DAD that fixed my hair while my Mom was at work. We mainly had ponytails, braids and just "leave-it-down" do's. And of course we tried the ever elusive, one-curl, but seeing as I have naturally curly hair, 20 minutes after said do was acheived...I acquired a split in my bangs....horrifying...
I give you a million kudos for this post and I'll give you a million more for being willing to pass out those photos to friends! Hilarious!