Our maid went on strike. For some strange reason, Bert won't fire her. I think he's attracted to her and keeps her around just for her good looks. It's certainly not her bubbly personality, at least not here lately. So, since Bert won't fire her, I'm going to place an ad and hire another one behind his back. Proof read this for me, before I submit it to our local paper, please:
Wanted: Live-in Maid/Cook/Nanny/Taxi Driver
Must love dogs. And whiny children. No formal education required. Experience cleaning monkey cages a plus. Must be capable of functioning on little to no sleep. Cannot take offense when time spent cooking is disrupted with sounds of "I don't like that dinner!!" Should be fluent in toddler jabber. Proficiency in all areas of Disney and Nickelodeon a must. Mounds of laundry folding daily required. Salary includes lots of hugs and slobbery kisses from all family members, including husband. Bonuses: Occasional pedicure and girls night outing.
We are an equal opportunity employer.