Thursday, May 20, 2010

WANTED

Our maid went on strike. For some strange reason, Bert won't fire her. I think he's attracted to her and keeps her around just for her good looks. It's certainly not her bubbly personality, at least not here lately. So, since Bert won't fire her, I'm going to place an ad and hire another one behind his back. Proof read this for me, before I submit it to our local paper, please:



Wanted: Live-in Maid/Cook/Nanny/Taxi Driver

Must love dogs. And whiny children. No formal education required. Experience cleaning monkey cages a plus. Must be capable of functioning on little to no sleep. Cannot take offense when time spent cooking is disrupted with sounds of "I don't like that dinner!!" Should be fluent in toddler jabber. Proficiency in all areas of Disney and Nickelodeon a must. Mounds of laundry folding daily required. Salary includes lots of hugs and slobbery kisses from all family members, including husband. Bonuses: Occasional pedicure and girls night outing.
We are an equal opportunity employer.

5 comments:

Dixie said...

Where is Mary Poppins when you need her?! Just have Her Highness and Thunder write a letter and throw in the fireplace and see if anything happens. It's worth a shot. ha! "If you want this choice position, have a cheery disposition. Rosy cheeks, no warts! Play games, all sort...." (Jane and Michael Banks)

Trace Car Driver said...

that's good stuff! the bonuses are few and far b/w i bet... but very appreciated with given. :)

The Hills said...

Let me know where you find one of those...I need one too! I totally understand the mounds of laundry these days...I never knew one baby could add so much more to my day!

Nikki McElroy said...

I yell for Alice sometimes after dinner. It worked for Carol Brady, but she hasn't shown up at my house yet!

tarheelmom said...

love, love, love it! my maid just sits around reading/writing blog posts rather than cleaning. some people, huh?