You ever have one of those days when....

...You look around and ask yourself... Is this really MY life??? Does my house REALLY look this bad by 9:00 every. single. morning??? Is there even a point in straightening those frames for the fifth time... today?

Are these REALLY my children??? ALL of them???

Oh, my. Looks are so deceiving.

To: My Daddy Dearest

Dear Daddy,

You were my first love. And though I've fallen hard over the years for some other men , (Bert and The Storm) my heart has continued to grow, because I love you even more now than I did back then....

I love all the memories I have of you singing to us, especially "In the Shadow of His Wings." I love hearing you sing it still, to my children.

I love that you always made us recite the Books of The Bible on the way to church... Every. Sunday. Morning.

I love the way you always smell of fresh soap and Old Spice aftershave.

I love that you have always written sweet notes when you could tell I was stressed out....

I love that you always get my jokes, and laugh, even when no one else does.

I love that you grit your teeth and talk with them clinched when you see or hear of an accident or even a near accident with any of the children. And remind us, with your teeth still clinched, while pausing in between words, "Y'all have got... to be... careful... with those children." And that you used to do the very same thing when we were children, and gotten sunburned, or injured.

I love that you were always such a stickler for both sunscreen and seat belts. By doing that, you've saved our lives more than once, I'm sure of it.

I love that you taught me what to look for in a husband, by being exactly what I needed to look for.

I love that on my wedding day you were just like Steve Martin in Father of the Bride, and nearly left me, to go sit by Momma, when it was almost time to walk me down the aisle. It's one of my favorite memories of that day. You raised my vale, kissed me sweetly, and said, "I love you, Holly Berry." Then turned to join the wedding guests already seated. For a moment I thought you must be walking over to the sound booth, to tell them I was ready, then I realized you were taking a turn towards the aisle. So I tried to whisper, "Daddy." Then, when you didn't turn back, I had to get a little louder, though still a whisper, "DADDY!" Finally, in a hoarse attempt to keep the attention off the scene I was creating, I screamed (softly), "DAAAAADDDDYYY!" You turned around, quickly realizing you had forgotten your escort, shook your head, then came back over to me and said, "I would have remembered before I sat down!" We both laughed heartily and hugged tightly, one last time with me as your single daughter. I'm sure in your head you heard "Sunrise, Sunset" instead of "Trumpet Voluntary."

I love that you've only ever had eyes for our Momma, and made sure you told her that, in front of us, repeatedly. But, even if you had never told us, we would have known by the way you've always treated her.

I love that my boys always want to be with you. And beg to call Cookie, then ask for you as soon as she answers the phone.

"A good father is one of the most unsung, unpraised, unnoticed, and yet one of the most valuable assets in our society." -- Billy Graham

I love that you have always contributed to our society by not only being a great Father to your biological children, but also to the many lives you have touched in the many places you have volunteered, and been a wonderful example of what a Father should be, for those who didn't have one.

I love that when you taught me how to ride my bike, you were there to scoop me up each time I fell off, hugged me for a moment, then forced me to get back on and try again, even though I didn't really want to... And I love that you've done that exact same thing in many other areas of my life, each time I fell.

I love that you always put your family's needs above your own, no matter what the circumstance. I'm sure you would have enjoyed a much newer car, but still drove that old as dirt Ford truck until it had over 300,000 miles on it, so that you could save up to put FIVE children through college... with no loans. I'm still amazed by that fact, and never had fully appreciated you for those sacrifices, until I had my own five to worry about and feed.

I love that you are not only a good Father, but a LEADER as well.

I love that you have always put GOD first, and made it your goal to teach us to do the same.

I love you, Daddy.

Happy Father's Day!

Love, Your Holly Berry

And, Bert... Happy Father's Day to you too. Since you're not a huge fan of touch-feely stuff, you can just re-read this post from last year: "Happy Fadda's Day!" I love you!

Heart Attack Inducing Little Turkey...

If I have a heart attack before I'm 30, this Little Turkey is why...

Hail is fearless around the water. He can actually swim, which makes me even more nervous when we're at the pool/lake. My Momma always said, "There's nothing more dangerous than a two year old boy." And I'm believing that statement now, more than ever.

I was having a hard enough time letting my big kids jump off the "plack-ferm."

And then Hail decided to venture up that way....

And insisted on going alone, since he's a "big boy." All two and a half years of him...

You may notice one member of The Storm missing from those shots. Lightning, though most definitely our toughest when it comes to handling pain (and giving it) prefers to relax in the water. He reserves his super hero stunts for the pool....

While Flash Flood hangs out in the shade and calls me over from time to time to kiss all over those sweet rolls....

Hope y'all are enjoying your summer as much as we are!

I've got to go take my daily baby aspirin....

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear.... and Fuzzy Rita was a guinea pig

...and I'm happy to report, Fuzzy Rita still is a guinea pig, though at moments, I had my doubts she would make it. Let me back up just a second...

When Her Highness, Flash Flood and I returned from our trip, the entire family hugged and kissed as we typically do when reuniting. We told of our adventures and things we'd seen while away, hugged each other some more, then heard the adventures of those who were left behind.

Bert interrupted the weekend recap to say, "Oh, hey. I got something to tell you. Promise you won't get mad?" I hate when things are presented in such a manner. "No, I don't." is my typical reply. "Well, The McElroy's are heading out of town early in the morning so I told them we would be happy to keep Fuzzy Rita...." waiting for my response, he paused to read my anger meter, then added, "...for four days."

The thing is, I wasn't mad at all. I love The McElroy Family very much. I am more than happy to help them out anytime and anyway we can. But, Fuzzy Rita is a family pet they love dearly and have had for a long time. I was nervous and scared about having Fuzzy Rita's life in my hands... and even more nervous about her life being in The Storm's hands, literally.

My anguish over such matters stems from an experience in pet sitting that happened in the sixth grade. Our class had two baby bunnies that had tragically lost their mother. Mrs. Hutchingson's sixth grade was planning to nurse the babies back to health, then set them free in the wild later in the year. During spring break, since Mrs. Hutchingson had vacation plans, and I had pet bunny experience (which is laughable) I was elected as Spring Break Baby Bunny Pet Sitter. I was ecstatic. I ran all the way to my Mother's classroom across campus, squealing with delight, and a rattly cage filled with pellet pooping bunnies, whose days on this earth were diminishing quickly, unbeknownst to us all.

I'll never forget the look on my Momma's face when I popped into her classroom with that cage in hand. She grinned, I'm sure thinking it was a prank being pulled, since she was the school prankster, then pursed her lips before saying, "I guess since we do have two other rabbits at home, we can handle these two as well."

I think those bunnies lasted three days. If that long. I walked down to our garage, where the cage was being kept, and noticed how sweetly they were both sleeping. Then, worried when only one of them woke to eat. Then cried when I realized the other wasn't asleep, but dead. My Daddy took it into the woods, in a small box of some sort, and buried it in our own pet cemetery. I was sad all day, thinking about what in the world I had done wrong. I was mortified later, to find the other one had passed away too, from heart ache. At least, that's the way my Mom tried to package it, to help me cope with my loss. "Honey, it's not your fault at all. He died because he was so lonely for his brother, so now they are in bunny heaven together, jumping and eating carrots."

The rest of spring break, I dreaded facing Mrs. Hutchingson and my class.

Each night that week was filled with nightmares... I just knew the entire class would line up to spit on me and use cuss words out of context, since that's the only way we knew to use them then.

I felt sick returning to school that Monday, empty handed. I was thrilled when Mrs. Hutchingson took the fall and announced that it was impossible to save the baby bunnies, since they were too young to survive without their Mother, and apologized in front of the whole class for putting that stress on me. The burden was lifted immediately, when I realized none of the sweet kids in my class were planning to spit on me during PE, or use any bad words like, "You're dumb as hell, Holly. Way to go." None of my fears were realized, as the class didn't seem to even care. We played our usual silly games during recess, and cheered for the boys who were our "boyfriends" that we never even talked to, as they played football on the dirt field. And, I was relieved.

So, it was this experience that made me nervous about pet sitting for a small pet that was loved so dearly by The McElroy Family. Knowing how The Storm lovingly kills frogs, lizards, and anything else that can't get away fast enough added to my stress. The only pets that can weather our Storm are sturdy ones... like cats and dogs who can run away quickly if need be. Knowing Fuzzy Rita would be in a cage, and unable to make a quick get away made me sweat.

Day ONE was filled with oohs and ahhs and Rules: "Momma! Look at the bunny! I wanna hold her!" "Honey, that's a guinea pig, not a bunny.... Remember, only pet her gently.... No, you cannot hold her like that. Hold her like this, and pet her gently.... GENTLY! No, she only gets food twice a day.... We already fed her this morning. NO MORE FOOD!... Go wash your hands, you just touched her poop. No, that's not her food, that's her poop!!... Please don't mess with her water bottle. Gross, don't try and drink out of it!!.... Lock the cage back after you pet her. Because she can get out and run away, and while I wouldn't blame her, I don't want to find her and her poo-poo pellets in my clean laundry pile.... Go wash your hands again!.... GENTLY!!!..... NO MORE FOOD FOR HER!!!........"

Day TWO: "Momma, can I hold the chipmunk please? It's my turn to feed that chipmunk!"

"No, your brother already fed her. And it's a guinea pig. DON'T FEED HER AGAIN!"

Day THREE: "Who wants to feed Fuzzy Rita? Who wants to hold her?" Silence. "Has anyone fed her yet?" Silence. "I said, does anyone want a turn to feed her?" "Momma, I already played with that bunny today. You can have a turn to feed her." "Fine, I'll feed the chipmunk-bunny then."

Same song, different verse. Every pet we own (two cats and a dachshund who suffers with Napoleon syndrome) start out belonging to the kids and Bert. And after the excitement dies down a little for the kids, Bert takes over... for a little while. Then, slowly but surely, they all become MINE. Which is exactly why when Fuzzy Rita was safely returned (alive and well) to her home with The McElroy's, I laughed at the kids' request to go buy our own bunny-chipmunk-guinea pig.

Congratulations, Fuzzy Rita. You weathered The Hudson Storm. May your life be long and happy after surviving such a feat. You can proudly brag to your bunny-chipmunk-guinea pig friends, as if you've climbed Mt. Everest. You certainly earned the right.

"Oh, they say when you marry in June, you're a bride all of your life..."

June is such a lovely month for weddings. This past weekend, I traveled with Her Highness and Flash Flood to visit some of my most favorite relatives on my Mother's side.The Startup Family (pictured above... picture stolen from Facebook. Thanks, Al!) is a great family, all around. Funny, good-looking, great personalities, smart, and truly on-fire for GOD are just a few of the characteristics I can name about Allison, Don and their three sons: Drew, Will and Nick. (Sidenote: Will has a neat blog where you can read for yourself to see what I'm talking about when it comes to the character of these handsome guys: The Startupdate.)

I have such fond memories of the Startup Family and our fun get togethers. This past weekend will be added to the long list of wonderful memories, as I got to witness the youngest of the Startup boys, Nick, marry the love of his life, Allie. We didn't get to spend nearly enough time together, as you never do at a wedding, but we soaked up every second we could.

Her Highness was honored to be asked to serve at the reception, and thoroughly enjoyed her roll as "waitress." Grinning ear to ear, she walked around to each table asking, "Excuse me, are you finished with your plates?" And would take the empty plates and cups to the trash can for the other wedding guests. Each time someone would respond, "Why, thank-you. Aren't you so cute!" Her Highness would giggle and say, "It's my pleasure." Every few tables she cleared, she would skip over to our table and exclaim, "This is soooo FUN! It's like being a waitress! I really love my job!"

Her Highness' "job" continued after the reception when she got to pass out tiny bells to be rung as the Bride and Groom made their exit to the "limino" that was waiting for them outside the church building, red carpet and all.

Flash Flood soaked up all the attention he got from his Cookie and Grandy. I missed the rest of The Storm, but it was nice to be able to sit and chat without worrying who was sticking their fingers in the groom's cake and who was going to knock over the punch bowl. After the Bride and Groom left, we said our goodbyes and headed out on the second part of our journey, which was a huge surprise for Her Highness....

With her seventh birthday quickly approaching, Cookie and Grandy wanted to give Her Highness an early present. Her Highness is big into the American Girl Dolls and books right now, so Cookie added to her collection and gave her Kit. We then took a quick trip to the American Girl store.

Her Highness excitedly told Cookie as we entered the store, "Oh, wow. This is definitely going to make my Momma's blog!!"

We danced down the aisles and tried on cute (over-priced) hats.

We showed Molly and Kit how good they had it, living in the Hudson House with The Storm. Life with four boys may be rough at times, but they could be living in a glass box like poor Rebecca.

Flash Flood enjoyed looking at the Bitty Babies and tried to strike up a conversation. He was a trouper the entire day.

I'm not so sure the rest of The Storm would have enjoyed our trip quite like he did.

Bert and the boys did some male bonding, which included the usual things men do when they're home alone... not sure what all that entails, but I do know that my house was turned upside down. Well worth it though, as we were all happy to reunite late that night. It's fun to get away sometimes, but I missed that crazy bunch and loved getting tons of hugs and kisses once we finally returned.

Her Highness wasn't the only one to get surprised that day. Bert had one waiting for me too, and her name is Fuzzy Rita............

Call me! Ooh ooh ahh... Call me, call me anytime...

My girlfriends are the best. I don't tell them enough, but they are truly some of the sweetest and most patient girls I know. Not to mention, super fun. As much as I love and appreciate all Bert does for me, I have to be honest and say it's my gal pals that keep me sane. And I have no idea why they love me, or have any desire to keep in touch. Typical phone conversations go a little something like this.....

~~Throw my hands up. They're playin' my song; You know I'm gonna be okay... Hey yeah, yeah, yeah... It's a party in the USA....~~
(ringtone set for some of my girlfriends, so I know it's one of them calling.)

Me: Hey! What 'chall doin'?

GF: Not much. We're going to the pool later and wanted to see if....

Me: GET THAT PLASTIC BAG OFF YOUR BROTHERS HEAD NOW!!! DON'T YOU LOOK
AT ME THAT WAY! THAT COULD KILL HIM! DON'T EVER DO THAT AGAIN!!!

GF (who never stopped talking the entire time I was screaming at Lightning, because she knows
if she pauses every time I have to fuss at a child, we'll never get through our conversation):
....y'all wanted to meet us over there. We're thinking about taking a picnic and staying for
several....

Me: No, you cannot have another piece of candy. Fine, one more. But eat it in here and don't tell
your brothers.

GF (who I can still hear, even though I'm talking to Her Highness).... hours. Oh, guess what!
We're taking a trip with my parents and heading down to....

Me: (still listening to her, intently, but trying to keep Hail from killing himself) WHAT ARE YOU
DOING WITH A KNIFE?? I don't even want to know how or why you have that. Give
that to me NOW!

GF: ....the beach. I'm so excited because this is the first time in five years that we've gotten to
go. I just hope the oil mess doesn't ruin the trip. And did I tell you that my brother's wife
just found she's......

Me: Shhhh. Y'all have got to STOP SCREAMING!!! YOU'RE GOING TO WAKE THE BABY!!!!!

Flash Flood, right on cue: Waaaaahhhh! Waaaaaaahhhh! Waaaahhhhh!!!!

GF: ....pregnant again?

Me: Wait, isn't her oldest only like four or something? How many does this make for her?

GF: This is baby number three.

Me: Wow, they're crazy.

GF: How in the world can YOU say that?

Me: Oh, yeah. I seriously forget all the time how close ours are. For real, until I hear someone
else say they had three in four years I'm like, whoa! That's a lot! Then, I think about how
we must look with five, six and under!

GF: I just hope she can handle a third since number two....

Me: DON'T HIT YOUR BROTHER WITH A GOLF CLUB! WHAT ARE YOU DOIN' WITH
DADDY'S GOLF CLUBS ANYWAY?? Go put those back in the garage NOW!!

GF: ....about did her in. I mean seriously, she can barely handle the two she's got. So, what
time do you wanna.....

Me: WHY WOULD YOU EAT DOG FOOD?? WHY? Stay out of that cabinet, you know better! And don't eat anymore dog food! I can't believe I have to say that to my THREE YEAR OLD!

GF: .....meet us down at the pool?

Me: Umm, well, I've got to feed them breakfast and try to find swimsuits for everybody. Oh, crap, I just remembered all of our towels are in the washer still. Ugggh. Well, they're just gonna get wet anyway. So, I'll just hang them over the lounge chairs when we get down there and let them dry some. I guess we could meet y'all there around 10ish?

GF (snickering): Great, I'll see you at 11:00.

Me: I know, I know. Hey, Bert's beeped in seven times in a row, so let me go check and see what in the world is sooo important.

~~I love it when you call me Big Poppa... Throw yo' hands in the air, if you's a true playa...~~
(Bert's personal ringtone, so I always know, no matter where in the house I am that it's him calling. Yeah, that's a fun one to have ring when you're sitting in a quiet waiting room.)

Bert: Answer your phone, woman! I'm gonna have your phone disconnected if you don't start answering when I call.

Me: Go for it. Both phones are in MY name. Plus, then what will you do when you wanna know what's for lunch... and dinner... and are just bored while you're driving around town.

Bert: Well, what is for lunch?

Me: Fish sticks.

Bert: Yuck.

Me: Yep.

Bert: What have y'all been up to this morning?

Me: Same ole', same ole'.

Bert: Well, I just had a really good meeting with a new client...

Me: IF Y'ALL DON'T GET BACK OUTSIDE.... YOU HAVE TO KEEP THE POPSICLES ON THE PORCH BECAUSE THEY WILL MELT ALL OVER THE HOUSE!

Bert: silence

Me: Yeah, keep going.

Bert: Well, what I was saying was I had a really good....

Me: QUIT THROWING TOYS! Hey, why do you have a pair of tweezers? Ugh, go put those back in the drawer! You could poke your eye out or hurt somebody with those things! Put them up now!

Bert: silence

Me: Babe, I'm listening.

Bert: Why do the kids misbehave every time I call?

Me: 'Cause they share your DNA.

Bert: So, what's for lunch?

Me: I gotta go, Thunder and Lightning just climbed over the fence again and Hail's just a couple of steps behind. Did you actually need anything?

Bert: Nope. See ya.

Me: Love you too.

~~I gotta feeling. Oh, oh. That tonight's gonna be a good night...~~
(Look, I pick my ringtones with my kids in mind. Uh, yeah. They're all songs my kids love.)

Me: Hey, girl! We're trying to get out the door. Wanna meet us at the pool?

GF: Fun! When are y'all going?

Me: Well, if EVERYBODY WILL GET THEIR SHOES ON (screaming towards the kids) we could leave now. Well, as soon as I get done feeding Flash Flood.

GF: Great. We'll see y'all down there in two hours then.

Me: Everybody's a comedian. It's not all my fault, you know. These crazy monkeys are driving me nuts this morning.

GF: Oh, girl, Mine too. At one point they were both.....

Me: I HEARD YOU, BUDDY. I'M COMING TO WIPE YOUR HINEY IN JUST A SECOND. LET ME FINISH FEEDING THE BABY!

GF: ....screaming at the top of their lungs and for a split second I thought about.....

Me: HAIL! I HEARD YOU! I'M SORRY YOUR TOES ARE TINGLING! I CAN'T COME WIPE YOU RIGHT NOW BECAUSE I'M STILL FEEDING FLASH FLOOD! JUST HANG ON ONE SECOND.

GF: .....jumping in my car and driving away, so I just went into my bedroom closet for a second and counted to.....

Me: SON! CAN YOU NOT HEAR ME?? Hey, Her Highness, could you puh-lease feed Flash Flood for just a second so I can wipe Hail?

GF: .... 10 like 10 times in a row. And that's with only two so I don't know how you.....

Me: Fine. I'll pay you 50 cents to feed him for me while I go wipe Hail's butt.

GF: ....do it!

Me: Well, I've told you before that the hardest transition was from one to two. If you can handle two, you can handle 12. Not that I plan to find out!

GF: Whatever, you're so not done. I keep waiting for you to call and say.....

Me: UGGGGHHH! How many times do I have to ask you to NOT unroll all the toilet paper?? And why is there pee-pee all the way over here? You better stop peeing in that trash can! I'm gonna beat the stew....

GF: ....that y'all are expecting again.

Me (laughing hard): I'm going to ignore that comment. Sounds like you're going to beat me to the pool.

GF: Duh.

Me: We'll be there as soon as we can.

GF: Hey, don't let me forget to give you the stuff you ordered from the kids at.....

Me: Do NOT put spaghetti up your nose! Gross! You're supposed to be putting your swimsuit on! I don't know where you put it. I had them all out on the couch. Well, go find it.

GF: ....church. It's good stuff, but it's going to be all melted if it keeps riding around in the back of my......

Me: SERIOUSLY! SERIOUSLY?? WHY WOULD YOU THINK IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TO USE A SHARPIE ON YOUR FACE?? Hey, tell Thunder to come back inside until we're all ready to load up. HAIL! THAT LITTLE PEOPLE CASTLE WEIGHS SIX POUNDS! DON'T THROW IT AT LIGHTNING'S HEAD!!!

GF: ....car.

Me: Sheesh. Bert's beeping in again. We're on our way.

~~I love it when you call me...~~

Me: What's up, Big Poppa?

Bert: What's for lunch?

Me: We're heading out the door, so do what you always do and make a sandwich. Or just go pick something up.

Bert: Where are y'all going?

Me: Pool.

Bert: Good. Well, I just saw....... and they said...... and I think that sounds like a really good idea..... and ......

Me: Uh huh. Right. Okay. Yep. Sure. Sounds good. Um hmm. Okay. Sure. Yes, I'm listening.

Bert: And then I ran over to..... and bought a new..... for my office..... do you think that was a good price..... and I thought we could all..... later.... maybe in a couple of years......

Me: GET IN THE CAR! GET IN THE CAR! JUST ONCE I WOULD LIKE TO GO SOMEWHERE WITHOUT HAVING TO SCREAM AT Y'ALL TO GET IN THE CAR AND GET YOUR SEATBELTS ON! LET'S GOOOOOO!

Bert: Oh, are y'all going somewhere?

Me: Bye!