Extremely Selective...

Hearing that is. Unfortunately this hearing problem affects every single male in our house. Every. Single. One.

Just this morning, Thunder was glued to Diego when I had the nerve to ask what he might like for breakfast.

"Capn' Crunch!"

"We're out, Honey. I'll get some later at the store. We have Cheerios or PB toast. Which do you want?"

"Capn' Crunch. Yeah, I'm hungry so get me a bunch please."

"Did you not hear me? I said..." (repeated the above and paused for his response.)

Finally, during the commercial break, Thunder responds:
"Momma, did you forget about that Capn' Crunch? Cause I'm HUN-GRY!"

I lost it. I'm so sick of not being heard. Or, being heard, but only as white noise.

Hail and Lightning both can be playing in the dishwasher/toilet/Bert's toolbox/etc, and I can scream like a banshee, "Get outta there!" With no reaction from the boys. Moments later, I can whisper "Does anyone want candy?" And all three boys will come running.

Bert is super guilty of this crime as well. And he knows it. He's been caught too many times.
Example: Fall football. Every Saturday our television is hijacked by the SEC.
I need to run some errands, ALONE, for my sanity. Before walking out the door, instructions are given:

"The kids just had a snack. Hail should be up from his nap soon. He will need a snack when he wakes up. And a diaper change. I'll be back in two hours.... Babe, did you hear me?"

Bert: "Uh, yeah." (Without ever looking away from the tv) "You said the kids just ate... hey, I heard you. Go and have fun. See you later."

Within 10 minutes my phone rings. Typical questions follow... "Lightning wants a cookie, has he eaten this afternoon?... What in the world is wrong with Hail? He won't quit screaming..."

I've decided to communicate by e-mail only with my boys hence forth. Since Lightning is screaming at the top of his lungs (napless) at the moment, I think this decision is wise.