Thursday, March 19, 2009

Sometimes the voices outside my head are way better than anything I could ever make up.

The following is a true story.

I had to visit the doctor today. The visit that none of us ladies enjoy. I won't go any further, but that's where I was, waiting patiently to show every square inch of my hind end to my gyno, (Okay, so I did go further, sorry.) when the following conversation took place. I have already admitted to being a people watcher. In this case, I only wish that these were some of the voices in my head. Unfortunately, these voices came from two, very real teenagers, who were sitting directly across from me in the waiting room.

To help you with the mental image: A young white female, probably no older than 19, with a very tight (not maternity, and she was pregnant enough to be showing) low cut shirt. Her boyfriend, donning a Nascar cap and t-shirt, was present for this visit because they had an ultra-sound scheduled. The two were giddy to have just learned a "Junior" was in the making. We will call this Jerry Springer-ish couple Cherry and Bubba.

Real quick though, Cherry is a name my Mom liked when she was pregnant with me. Cherry. Can you imagine the jokes boys would have made with that?? Thanks, Daddy, for putting your foot down on that one. Back to the waiting room...

When reading the following, think of the accent that Joy uses on "My Name is Earl." Then, slow it down and triple it. If you're not a fan of the show, think total rednecks from the dirty south.

Cherry: Yur Mama is gunna be sooooo happy to have a grandson! Don't fur-get to call her.

Bubba: Yip. Sure will. Hey, you know what that doc said was right. And I know that the whole time yur down visiting your Maw-maw, yur gonna be sittin' on the porch smokin'. Cause that's all she really likes to do anyway. Sit and smoke and all.

Cherry: No-no. I done made up my mind this time. I'm quittin' cold turkey. I done told Maw-maw that I ain't doin' it no more, so you can call her the whole time I'm down thur and ask if I've had any smokes. I'm tellin' ya. This times for real too.

Bubba: Well, you know smellin' them camels on her, ain't gonna make it no easier for you to quit. You best be behavin' yur-self while your gone too.

Cherry just laughed it off. I don't even want to know what all behaviors warranted that last statement. Cherry and Maw-Maw must like to party. Poor "Junior."


Supabloggasuprememama said...

Laugh out loud. I LOVE my name is Earl. I think its like the funniest show on television. Jamin tells me I'm Joy all the time. We almost went as earl and joy for halloween when I was pregs with emerson. classic. ;) Poor Cherry with that name...I can ONLY imagine the names. I like the name Dixon for a boy, and Jamin also put his foot down on that one..for obvious boy joke reasons.

McKinney Madness said...

Move over Earl, here comes Cherry and Bubba!! ha ha ha!!