To truly be in the right frame of mind for this post, do yourself a favor: turn up your speakers then click here.
Yes, that's an old school Nintendo controller in Lightning's hands.
Bert brought his old one home, the last time he made a trip down to see his Mother. The only games that work are Super Mario, Duck Hunt and Legend of Zelda. The only game the kids want to play 24/7 would be "Mario and Wu-ligi."
It's incredible how much WASTED brain space I have for that game. I had not touched a controller in at least 15 years, and the second I picked it up, my mind was flooded with useless knowledge. The children were amazed by my speed and accuracy. "MOMMA! How do you make Mario run sooooo fast?! How do you know when to jump, even before the bad guys get there?! You're so much better than Daddy!" The last part is what I like hearing the most. Bert spent very little time on Mario Brothers, and invested his hours on end in the all important sports games.
My sisters and I held many a Mario Tournament. All three of us knew where every single extra life, bonus coin world, and warp zone could be found. Somedays, if we were really up to the challenge, we would play "no warp zones" to see which of us was truly the best player.
I'm not trying to brag. But, us Maynard girls saved the Princess more than a time or two!
Fast forward 15 years.... I can no longer memorize important details, such as my children's social security numbers or the phone number to the preschool. Only on a good day can I recite each of their dates of birth to a receptionist while scheduling an appointment. I can't recall a single detail about the periodic table, and I have no idea what I will do when it's time to help Her Highness with algebra in a few years. But Honey, if you need help getting to a bonus world on Super Mario or need an extra life since you're down to only one man left, on level six, I'm the girl to call!
Oh, what a waste.