Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Warning: Due to gross content, reader discretion is advised.

Saturday morning, 1 am, I hear Bert say "Are you okay? You're going to throw up??!" Then, suddenly he jumped out of the bed with Her Highness in his arms and held her up while she vomited several times.... On the carpet. I jumped up too and ran to the kitchen to grab our family "throw-up bowl" but it was too late. She was done by then. Mounds of green vomit now gracefully adorned our beige carpet in the bedroom. We have nearly 2000 square feet of hardwood. And those two somehow managed to find some of the few areas containing carpet and stain it. As I was scrubbing the dark green out of the carpet, feeling much like a college kid with a severe Saturday morning hangover, I thought, "Why, why didn't she wake ME up? The person they wake up for ALL other important matters such as, 'I can't find my blankie in my bed; Can you get me some orange juice; I had a bad dream; I wet my bed....' Why then didn't she come to me for THIS?" Oh, well. It's been a long time since we had the carpet professionally cleaned. I suppose this will help me get a jump start on that phone call.

After cleaning up the pint-sized princess' royal carnage, I was climbing back into my bed, already half asleep when I heard the following conversation take place in our living room. Bert was very sweet and offered to sleep on the couch with her. He was telling her that she would feel better in the morning and to try and close her eyes, etc. Her Highness broke his hypnotizing advice with, "Hey Daddy, was my throw-up GREEN?? Why would it be green?!" Bert then replied, in a fatherly way, "Well, didn't you say you had a blue slushy at Target with Momma tonight? And y'all both had popcorn. So, yellow and blue makes green." Simple enough answer, she fell right back to sleep.

Saturday morning when Thunder woke up and saw that Her Highness was asleep on the couch with sheets draped over it for "protection" (the way my Mother always did for us, and I'm sure her mother did for her when sick) and the family throw-up bowl beside the couch could only mean one thing. Shaking her awake he says, "Did you throw-up last night? What color was it?!" So, Her Highness then groggily and proudly explains the color combination to her all too interested counter part. Moments later, Lightning entered rubbing his eyes. Taking in the scene before him, Her Highness answered again, before he even bothered asking. This time the story grew, like a fisherman's tale, and she vomited for hours and each time it was greener than before. Fortunately, Hail is too young to notice or care about such details, so the legend came to an end.

Days later, we are still discussing the details of that horrid night. Each time a member of The Storm passes by the dark green stain in the corner of my bedroom, they start to tell me the events of that night, as if I weren't there- cleaning it up, the ONE time she actually vomited. Not seven. Or eight. I can only imagine the tales we will hear someday from our drama queen as she experiences firsts such as broken bones or child birth. I have no idea where she gets this quality. Over-exaggeration is just un-ladylike, so it wouldn't be from me. (exaggerated wink)


Anonymous said...

Glad she's feeling better, but what a funny story! I love how with each time it got worse and worse....she's all girl :)

Supabloggasuprememama said...

you are TOO HILARIOUS. Sorry that happened. we did brown recently. brown on the living room carpet. sweet.

Dana said...

Hilarious... try to woolite pod. It got hot pink acrylic paint out of my carpet and couch! I'm sure with you having your girly girl. You won't have to guess how hot pink paint ended up on my carpet and couch.