I threw a hissy fit this morning. A full-blown, feet stompin', screaming like a banshee, hands in the air-- hissy.
I was trying to get our brood out the door for our usual Friday morning activity, which all my kids love, Friday Playgroup. I did what I normally do: dressed the boys, put their shoes on, then turned on a cartoon so they could eat their dry Cheerios while I got myself dressed and ready. Her Highness dresses herself, and usually does a much better job than I would anyway, so she was ready as well. I got everyone settled and headed towards my bathroom.
Moments after I got in there, ALL FOUR KIDS came barreling in to join me. The usual took place, Her Highness went straight to my closet to help pick something for her fashion challenged Mother to wear, Thunder and Lightning began climbing and jumping off the counter, and Hail went straight for the cabinet that contains lotions, perfumes and other bottles of toxins for him to try and ingest. I started to fuss, "Okay, guys! Go back and watch your show. You need to eat so we can leave after I get ready. OUT!"
No one even batted an eye. Thunder and Lightning were now playing hide and seek in our closet while Her Highness was screaming, "You're going to mess up all the clothes! MOM! Make them GET OUT! Momma, you're not going to wear that are you??" Hail then jumped off the counter top, and Thunder and Lightning began running full speed playing chase. I started my hissy then. "ALL OF YOU GET OUT!!! GET OUT OF HERE NOW!!" They finally left the bathroom, but just to jump on my bed. With their shoes on. Now, I'll be honest, I'm not the neatest mom in town, nor am I a germ-a-phob by any stretch of the imagination. I wish some of those traits were in me, but they're just not there. And, jumping on the bed is usually allowed. The book, Five Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed was written with my children in mind, I'm quite certain. But, for some reason, this morning my hormones were raging, I was tired before I even woke up, and the fact that no one was listening just really hit a nerve.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING??? ALL OF YOU, GET OFF MY BED RIGHT NOW!! RIGHT NOW!!! GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!! GET OUT!! GO WAIT BY THE DOOR AND STAND IN A LINE AND DON'T TOUCH EACH OTHER. GET OUT!!! GGGGEEEETTT OUUUUTTTT!!!!"
My throat hurt after I finished screaming. My head hurt. My feet hurt from stomping the floor. They did get out though. And walked slowly to the door, like I said, to wait for me to leave. But, just before they left the room, Her Highness turned back to roll her eyes and say,
"See Momma. THAT's why you shouldn't have had four boys."