Tuesday, February 10, 2009

"I'm Not Your Sister, and I'm Not Your Friend...

I am your Mother! And you will not speak to me that way!"

Those exact words were spoken to me more times than I can count. I should write a whole post on things I swore I would never repeat once I became a Mother. "I'm going to be a cool Mom." Turns out, keeping me out of trouble and helping me to become the person I am today does make my Mom pretty cool. And now, because of all her hard work raising me, we get to be friends. Pretty cool indeed.

So, as you might imagine, I am becoming my Mother. Sometimes my mouth opens, and I hear not only her words, but her voice coming out of me. Scary. I am now constantly saying to the sassy crew I'm trying to raise, "I am NOT your sister. And, I am NOT your friend! I am your Mother, and you will not speak to me that way!"

Today the boys and I enjoyed every last minute of the spring- like weather, despite the groundhog's lies. We played outside nearly all day. I enjoy hanging out with my boys, especially on a pretty day when we can chase and squeal outdoors. After several games of t-ball and pretending to be a damsel in distress for the "stuper huros" to rescue (their usual victim, I mean damsel was at school, lucky girl) I was feeling some true bonding with the boys. I decided to really dig deep and become one of the guys by calling Jack a silly name. One of his favorite past times.

"Jack, you're a stinky poo-poo diaper baby!"

Ty was immediately sent into rip roaring laughter. The kind that sounds just like an old man sitting in a rocking chair on a front porch... Maybe you didn't have an old man like that in your tiny rural town... just trust me.

"Umm, Momma..." Jack stopped swinging immediately, and slowly cocked his head to the side to denote his seriousness. "Do you think I'm your brother? Cause, umm, I'm NOT your friend. And, you are my MOTHER. And you're not supposed to talk that way!"

I never know what to expect from this kid. After all, he is the one who gave us the recipe to Button-Eggs.

Later, I was reprimanded a second time by one of my children. Hank fell asleep in the car while we were sitting in the pick-up line at Lucy's school. Since it was such a beautiful day, and he never stays asleep when I try to move him into the house, I decided to leave the van doors open and leave the garage door up so I could keep an eye/ear on him. Lucy stopped me as we were walking into the house.

"Momma, I believe you forgot something. And that something is HANK!"

"I know, sweet girl, but he's sound asleep and it's so pretty out. I'm going to make y'all a snack, then come back and check on him."

Lucy froze in her tracks, starring at me as if I had just said I was going to pour gasoline all over my body and strike a match.

"What, Lucy? I did that with you a million times when you were a baby. Cookie did it with all of us. Hank will be fine."

"Momma, I just don't think that's very 'sponsible."

And she turned around and climbed back into the van to wait for Hank. What a stinker pot. Good thing she doesn't have the number to DHR.


Kiera said...

Ok.. I am rolling laughing! You are so hilarious and your kids take right after you!! woman, seriously write a book! It would make you millions! :)

Dana said...

I have written that post about becoming my mother... And now I just hope to be half as good of a mom as mine!

Cindy said...

Too funny! Out of the mouths of babes, huh?! :-)