I know you are, so what am I?

My kids love to smart off to one another. What's the point of having siblings if you can't make them cry once in a while? I like to think my children are learning how to deal with the "real world." At least, that's what I tell myself. In the younger years with Her Highness and Thunder, what we now refer to as the "Calm Before the Storm" (if we had only known then...) the meanest things they could think to say to one another when in a dispute was, "You're not my friend!" The first time I heard our sweet little Princess scream at her brother, I had mixed emotions. Could this really be happening? And is that seriously the meanest thing she could think to say? It was cute though, the two year old equivalent of "Screw you, buddy." Now days, we've grown accustomed to it, but get tickled just the same. We constantly hear conversations like the following...

Her Highness:
"Who wants to play barbies with me?"
As if you are winning a prize to even be invited to such a joyous occasion.

The Storm shoots her down:
"Not me! That's for girls. I wanna play super heroes/chase/ride the gator."

Her Highness:
"You don't wanna play cause YOU have a GIRLFRIEND! YOU have a GIRLFRIEND!"
She will sing with a vengeance.

It works the other way too.

Thunder:
"Hey, Lucy! Get outta my spot! MOM, I had to go pee and when I came back she was in my spot on the couch. See... my blankies (he has THREE) are still there where she is sitting! I said MOVE NOW! Okay then, YOU have a BOYFRIEND! YOU have a BOYFRIEND!"

Yep, them's fighting words these days.

Also, if you really want to piss off any of the preschool crowd in my house, simply mock their every word.

Thunder:
"This game is dumb."

Lightning:
"This game is dumb."

Thunder:
"Stop it! I'm telling Momma."

Lightning:
"Stop it! I'm telling Momma."

I'll be honest. I join in the fun at times, and have found it beneficial. Especially when it comes to whining. I hate whining. So, when the kiddos hear me whine back what they are saying, they usually quit and either walk away annoyed, or say the sentence again using a "big girl/boy voice." And, since we're being honest, I sometimes do it just to bug them, even when they aren't whining. Don't judge me... you have NO idea what it's like to live with these creatures! I have to get my kicks somehow.

Recently, Hail won a Battle of the Wits, though he was completely unaware of his triumph. Being 16 months old, he is discovering new words and constantly parroting words he hears. One afternoon, Hail had been copying the final word of every sentence heard. Every. Single. Sentence. Enter Lightning.

"Momma, can we go outside?"

Hail: "Outside."

Lightning: "Momma, can I go outside and have a snack?"

Hail: "Snack."

Lightning looks over at Hail with furrowed eyebrows, but chooses to ignore him at this point.

Lightning: "I wanna ride my scooter."

Hail: "Scooter."
Laughing this time, as he is so proud of himself for saying such a big word.

Lightning, now taking offense for the laughter is where Hail apparently crossed the line:
"STOP copying ME!"

Hail: "ME!" Claps then repeats, "ME-ME-ME!"

Lightning: "Right now! Don't you say what I say! No-no! That's a stinky baby! No!"

Hail: "Na-na-na. Tinky baby. Na-na-na."

Lightning, furious: "Momma! Spank that stinky baby's bottom. Spank him, Momma, cause he is being mean and copying me. Spank him for being mean."

Hail: "Pank-baby. MEAN." more clapping and laughing.

By this point I too am laughing, because Hail didn't even realize what was going on, and obviously Lightning didn't either. Lightning finally sulked off, when he saw that no spankings would be dealt for that offense. Hail toddled away to pester another sibling unknowingly.

Hail= 1 Lightning= 84,000
But at least he finally scored.